Friday, July 24, 2015
I Think I've Misplaced Something....
Who says life is perfect? It isn't...it's complicated and messy at times. But I can honestly say mine has been pretty close to perfection (by my standards of course). Until this past year...complicated and messy took on a whole new meaning.
I guess one can't stay on the golden path forever, right? I've always been one to call my own shots, travel whenever I felt like it, and it suited me just fine. I've always been a fan of spontaneous and geeky things.
I've spent the last 13 years traveling and doing all kinds of crazy things, like camping in the middle of LA to attend a red carpet premiere. Who seriously does those things, yup - I do! But there comes a point when you've done all the crazy stuff, and you've lived out of suitcases for months on end, whether for work, pleasure or both, when your desires change. Does it happen to everyone, not likely. Did it happen to me, most definitely.
Before I could even have the chance to embark on this new journey, the missing link in my life, chaos struck! There is nothing worse then when a parent gets sick. You can't fix it, and there isn't some magical band aid that will heal them. You suck it up and deal with it. That's what I've been doing for the last 14 months. I believe that I'm pretty good at handling stress, and I've been able to master the art of keeping balance. Or so I thought. I've never been more out of balance. Somewhere, I've lost myself..I lost my smile. I want it back, very badly...I'm just not sure how.
I traded in my frequent flyer miles for frequent trips to the hospital, endless doctor appointments and ER visits, and weeks upon endless weeks in ICU. By all means, this is not a complaint letter, because I still have my dad, and I'm grateful. This is about me trying to find myself again. It becomes consuming, borderline obsessive. By the time I make it home from a full day of work and hospital, I'm exhausted. What little time I do have, all I want to do is sleep.
I know that I should be making time for myself and my friends, and social activities, but I don't. How did I go from being a balancing rock star, to balancing dummy?
I started this blog as a means to filter my thoughts to paper. If there are any of you going through something similar, I'd love to hear from you.
I guess one can't stay on the golden path forever, right? I've always been one to call my own shots, travel whenever I felt like it, and it suited me just fine. I've always been a fan of spontaneous and geeky things.
I've spent the last 13 years traveling and doing all kinds of crazy things, like camping in the middle of LA to attend a red carpet premiere. Who seriously does those things, yup - I do! But there comes a point when you've done all the crazy stuff, and you've lived out of suitcases for months on end, whether for work, pleasure or both, when your desires change. Does it happen to everyone, not likely. Did it happen to me, most definitely.
Before I could even have the chance to embark on this new journey, the missing link in my life, chaos struck! There is nothing worse then when a parent gets sick. You can't fix it, and there isn't some magical band aid that will heal them. You suck it up and deal with it. That's what I've been doing for the last 14 months. I believe that I'm pretty good at handling stress, and I've been able to master the art of keeping balance. Or so I thought. I've never been more out of balance. Somewhere, I've lost myself..I lost my smile. I want it back, very badly...I'm just not sure how.
I traded in my frequent flyer miles for frequent trips to the hospital, endless doctor appointments and ER visits, and weeks upon endless weeks in ICU. By all means, this is not a complaint letter, because I still have my dad, and I'm grateful. This is about me trying to find myself again. It becomes consuming, borderline obsessive. By the time I make it home from a full day of work and hospital, I'm exhausted. What little time I do have, all I want to do is sleep.
I know that I should be making time for myself and my friends, and social activities, but I don't. How did I go from being a balancing rock star, to balancing dummy?
I started this blog as a means to filter my thoughts to paper. If there are any of you going through something similar, I'd love to hear from you.
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